Out with the old, in with the new.

I just got out of a serious relationship (call it what you want, but it was serious to me). It would probably be the first serious relationship I have had, ever. I thought I loved him. I really was under the impression that I did. I look back and realize, I wasn't in love. I was obsessed. It just shows how often, we, as young people, throw the "L" word around. It isn't something that can just be felt. We think it's so easy to fall in love. It's really not. It's easy to fall in love with obsession, with habit, with comfort, with protection, etc. With me? It was the habit. I was in love with talking everyday. I was in love with knowing that he would be there. I was in love with all these things, and I didn't look at the fact that I was NOT in love with who I was in this relationship. I had lost myself. That's what love is. Loving who the other person is (even their flaws) and loving how they impact your life.

Yes, I won't lie. It hurts. I'm hurt. But it's for the better. That's what you have to keep telling yourself. It's for the better. I'M for the better. I need to find myself again. No more boys until I know who I am. I've been hopping from guy to guy and have never had "me" time. Let's get that time back, shall we?