Self-Confidence

Self-confidence. As of yesterday, I'm bathing it. I never thought I was that pretty. I never thought I was that smart. I never thought that I was thin enough, or flirtatious enough, or overall, just not good enough. I've been so wrong, and so blind. Lately I've been living in this light of, "I am great." I think people should feel like this more often. Push your insecurities aside...and just live.

I am a little bit out there. I enjoy dorky things like watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or revisiting my old VHS tapes. I like painting, writing, going to antique stores. My free time includes making up design ideas for my non-existant apartment. I like looking up puppy youtube videos...and even better, making my own youtube videos (however half of them are never uploaded). I would rather refinish a piece of furniture than buy it new. These are all things about me that make me, me. Most of them are corny, cheesy, or just stupid to most people, but I enjoy doing these things, and in the end, makes me interesting.

People find it interesting that I want to buy a '72 yellow Volkswagon so I can drive the car my mom used to. (I will have to learn everything about cars before I do though). People find it interesting that I have such a large sweet tooth, that I will stop at nothing to try to reach an unsatisfiable craving. I want to travel to Iceland, to Finland, to Ireland... just to look.

I might not know where I'll end up, or who I'll meet, or what I want to do, but I do know that I'm a good person with a big heart. I can't keep hiding, afraid that I'll be judged. Love the people who love you and treat you right, forget the ones that don't. Stop trying to appease people who are unappeasable, and give to those who show gratitude. No one is going to get me off this cloud, not even that one person who used to. I might live with my head in the clouds, but I can reach my dreams a lot easier this high.