The joys of looking at the past.

I found this. This is something I wrote back in May.

Surprises (5/21/10)
Surprises. I keep waiting for one to show up, waiting for someone to be different than all the rest, and just…surprise me. I want someone to go out of their way to show me that they care. To show something about themselves that makes them different than all the rest. If I do something, is it wrong for me to expect the same in return? Blow me away. Show me how to see you. Show me if you are worth my time.
Sadly, no one has yet proven this to me. No one has looked at me and said, “Katie, I care about you, now, let me show you.” I just want to be surprised. That’s all.

I think I had every intention of posting this on my blog. Sharing my heartache, wallowing in my own self pity, but for some reason...I refrained. I look at what I wrote that day, and I can remember exactly how I felt, exactly what was going through my head. I can remember how sad I was. I can remember everything about that day, even the thought running through my head that said, "This won't change." Maybe that is why I refrained. Maybe I thought that if I posted it, I would get some deserved attention, but that's where I kept going wrong. Every pity party I would throw, every tantrum, every blog that went on and on and on about some sort of rant...was irrelevant. So I took a step back. I didn't post it. Now I'm glad I didn't.

I'm glad because what I said there, happened. I met someone who blew me away. Gave me everything I wanted and more. He surprised me. He's different from all the rest.