Monday Morning Movie Madness

I'm going to start this new thing. Every Sunday night I will watch a movie, maybe one that not everyone has seen, and give my reviews and opinions of it the morning after. It'll be something for me too look forward to every Monday.

So without further adieu, let's roll.

Home Room: (2002)
My Rating: 3.5/5

If you're looking for a feel good movie, this is not going to be it. It is a movie based on a shooting at a high school, where one popular student was shot through the head, and survived, and the other is an outcast who saw everything happen while she sat in the corner of home room. This movie would have received a complete 5/5 if not for sparatic moments of bad acting. However, the message and the feel of the situation definitely got through and I teared up from time to time. It was a movie about 2 completely different people finding out things about themselves along with things about each other. It doesn't have any happy moments, nor does it make you smile and think everything is going to be okay. You really are unsure of the outcome. Things catch you by surprise, and you will be shocked by certain revealed instances. Overall, I liked it, but it's not one of those movies that I will watch over and over again. It's a one time thing, and I did enjoy the feelings I absorbed from it. It makes you think about your place in the world.

Reasons why I'm exhausted and can't sleep.

My mind races a thousand miles per hour every night before I need to get some shut eye. Usually, I can push back all the thoughts until morning, in which I can re-examine them, however, tonight is different. I hate these nights. They usually happen once a week, and they are so freakin' irritating. I can't even type fast enough to keep up with my train of though. Geesh.

It probably has to do with the fact that I watched a movie to try and "sound me to sleep". Fun fact for all of you out there, falling asleep to the sound of a movie or television is my favorite way to fall asleep. I wake up feeling more rested than ever before, and then curious about how my show/movie ended.

I watched Good Will Hunting for the first time. It's taken me about 3 days to finally finish it, (yes, I am that busy), but I finally did. I have came to two conclusions. The first one being that Ben Affleck has the cutest side smile in the entire world. The second, that it related a lot to a relationship I had a long time ago. Minus the "going to see about a girl" part. He never came after me...obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here. I'm Skylar. He was Will.

So those are the first couple thoughts on my mind. The next being...I don't want a relationship. Ever. I recant that previous statement. Rephrasing: I don't want a relationship until I'm done living. Does that make sense? I want to experience everything that I want to experience before I'm done living my life, then I'll settle down and maybe pop out a few babies. Being in a relationship right now calls for too much attention, and I refuse to be dragged down. Especially by these things called, "feelings". Annoying.

So, what else is running through my mind? Let's see...
-My astonishment at my typing speed right now
-Him...now that I watched that freakin' movie. Not okay.
-Fright Dome tomorrow night.
-Payday tomorrow and the dividing of expenses
-How much a pastor gets paid a year (don't ask)
-Wondering if my brakes fell off my car again. (Yes, it really IS that big of a POS)
..and how much I am craving Cap'n Crunch right now. Ever since that person asked me that on Formspring, I can't get it out of my head.


So yes, this blog post was completely pointless and badly written, but I thought that typing it all out right now would alleviate some brain space. It might have been successful, but we'll see in a few moments.

This Temporary Phase

"It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place." -Garden State


Have you ever felt that you are stuck in this place called the "Temporary Phase". That nothing in your life ever feels permanent? Well, I do. 


Day after day, it's the same thing. I get up out of my temporary bed with my temporary sheets. I whisk away to the bathroom to wash my face with my temporary face wash (just to see if this one works). I then put on my temporary work clothes to go to my temporary job where I converse with temporary people. To get to that job, I take my temporary car. I take my temporary classes every Tuesday and Wednesday at a temporary school to fulfill my degree that will happen...not soon enough. So day after day, night after night, I do this routine. Nothing seems permanent or worthwhile. Everything feels like it is going to go away after a certain time. 

I miss the days of permanence. Where everything was mine and nothing felt strange.

Scents and Smells.

It's interesting how different scents and smells can take you back to the days of being a child, or being with that special someone, or even a dorky road trip with your parents. I love creating new moments and then without realization, noticing how those smells can pop up and remind you of that time. They say that smell is the biggest trigger of memory; without question or hesitation, it's true. 

Today, my dad was making baked beans with bacon and chili and all the "fixins". I was suddenly 8 years old again, at my family reunion, playing cards with all my relatives. I smell cotton and I'm back in Denton at my old apartment. I smell this lavender candle burning next to me, and it hasn't brought back any memories yet...but I'm hoping new ones might emerge from within it. Here's to hope.

My life, thus far.

Regarding school:
(This might bore some of you)
I have been taking night classes, and loving the experiences that I'm gathering from them. For my "Intro to Seconday Education" class that I mentioned in my prior post, we have to observe 10 hours at a school and service the community for 10 hours. Now, for most of you, this probably seems a bit dull. However, I'm more excited about this than I have been about anything in a very long time. I received the placement of Centennial High School's art department for my observation hours. I can also use my community service hours at this school for a combined total of 20 hours. I'm so excited to talk with teacher about her lesson plans and how she goes about her days.

Regarding lifestyle:

Most of the time, I'm at the gym, training for the half marathon in December or training for UNLV's swim team for the spring. I'm also considering doing a 50 mile bike ride through Red Rock in October, but for right now, it's just a thought. I think pushing my body to this limit has been providing me with a new take on things. I've been pushing my body to it's limits, proving over and over again that I can do things that I really didn't think I could.

I've been trying to live by the philosophy of, "Do something new everyday." So far, it's nice.

Why do I want to be a teacher?

I have my "Intro to Secondary Education" class on Wednesday nights from 6:00 pm to 8:50 pm. To be perfectly honest, it's about as exciting as it sounds. Meaning: not a lot. The teacher is boring and the class is full of people that I would NOT want teaching the next generation, but I digress.
That class is one of the hardest classes...to stay awake in. My mind wanders. My legs get antsy. My butt falls asleep. Overall, it's not a good experience. However, the thing that most intrigued me was this question: "Why do you want to be a teacher?" A common question brought up in the teaching department. Most of the answers were the usual, "I like working with kids," or, "I have the freedom to teach how I want," and so on and so forth. The rest of the class, my mind was elsewhere. My mind was off constructing every reason why I desire to have this profession.

Tangent:
When I went into college, I was a Marketing major with a minor in International Business. Too much math. Next. I then changed to an Advertising Major with a minor in International Business. However, I soon realized that being in advertisement meant swaying people in one direction or another to buy your product. I didn't want to persuade people. I didn't want to end up lying to people. So that's when some self analyzation had to come into play. What would I do with my life? What COULD I do with my life? Then I remembered that first day of 8th grade art, and walking into that art classroom.


And that's all it took for me to realize what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted other people/students to feel the way I did. I wanted students to realize that there was more to life than just passing through it, trying to get to the destination. My AP art teacher taught me this: "Life is not about the destination, it's about the journey." It's not about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself. I want students to realize that art is all around them, like I did when my Art History teacher took us to Chicago. I started noticing that everything around me was about art and about appreciation. I wanted students to feel inspired...and thrilled...and overwhelmed. I want them to enjoy at least a little bit of their school day, if that's the smallest part that I could offer.

I hope I can do these things. I hope I can shape and mold the next generation into a more enlightened youth. I want to leave a mark on the world, and this is how I'm going to do it.

My weight, my body type, and how I am built.

It has been aggravating me lately. I am sick of being self-conscious of my body.
I think what set me off is what I received yesterday. In my formspring question box, I received a statement. This is the first thing that made me mad. A STATEMENT on a QUESTION website. Whatever. I guess people will just do what they please regardless of what I say. Anyways, it said, "You have big arms." 
Are you kidding me?! Really? I've got a lot of arm, but they aren't in any way, "big". I always joke with people and tell them that I have a lot of appendage. That I am a big girl.  It's because it's true. I am about to hit 5'10". I'm almost there, however, since I'm not, I still say that I am 5'9". (It's a girl thing). 
Listen people, I am a tall girl. It happens. It makes me uncomfortable, but THERE IS NOTHING THAT I CAN DO ABOUT IT. I have long arms to accompany that. I have really long legs. And guess what? I weigh A LOT more than most girls do. I wear a size 10 pant. On a good day, a size 8. I am kicking my own ass, trying to get down to a size 6, but guess what? I am NEVER going to be smaller than that. My bone structure is not built for that. I will never be model material. I will never be a size 0. 
But here's another fun fact. I am hot. I am attractive. And I'm a bigger girl, but I have to be okay with that. I'm not petite and I'm not skinny, nor will I ever be. 


Katherine Heigl said: I'm a real woman, a real size .. well I don't even know what size I am. Between 4 and 6, depending on the day. I am not perfect. 


So anybody who thinks otherwise, I have something to say to you. Blow me.